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Cult of Laughter Headcanon: Additional Forces
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Literature Text
Toymakers
These eccentrically insane mechanics are the main assembly line of the Cult's toys and gadgets, arsenals-of-war as others would rather call them. From varieties of blades to explosives with different blasts, the Toymakers have proven themselves time and again to be more than mere innovators of surprisingly effective equipment and weaponry. Many believe that Toymakers keep their magnum opus by their own side, considering that they have already made any by the least, or perhaps a whole collection of them at their direct disposal for the worst. Most Toymakers rely on the most fundamental way of learning and creating which is called trial and error; there are luckily not many in their ranks who are creatively genius flooded with inspiration to the point of madness.
Mirth Minstrels
Cultists who travel and perform their musics along with their joyful songs all over Equestria, and perhaps beyond, they are the instruments the Cult uses to spread their seeds of delight. Group performances by them are rare due to their preference of travelling alone for safety and security as a whole. They recite merry, encouraging those unfortunate who heard them to join the Cult. Because of their exposure to the outside world, their songs have to be subtle to avoid unwanted attentions such as the authorities. One can pick apart from the crowd a Mirth Minstrels, not from their nigh flawless cover, but the vile intents shown in the contents of their performances.
The recent Macabre Music Machine, the invention of the Third Prophet, took away most of their major roles on the field, and importance especially. Though many of the Minstrels resent this contraption for their lost in dignity which was once akin to that of the Jesters of Baltimare, who are they to speak against their revered founder and leader, Lyra Heartstrings, the Third Prophet who invented the machine herself? One the other hand, because of how advanced of a contraption a Macabre Music Machine proves to be to the Toymakers, Mirth Minstrels still remain as one of the Cult’s primary means of spreading laughter and joy through their charm and musical talents.
Corpse Collectors
Although much less elaborate than the mervelous Party Wagons, the lack of decorations can be justified by its practicality being for utility in nature: collecting corpses lying lifeless (or unluckily still alive) on the field of carnage. At its most basic level, the Corpse Collector simply grabs and stores the corpses they collect. Necromancers turn those same corpses into their Laughing Deads if they do so wish. If equipped with a grinder, the Corpse Collector would crush the collected corpses into small chunks. Whatever happens to those material, it is one of those conversation topics one should rather not describe to the innocent as their introduction to the twisted nature of the world.
Horsehairs
Horsehairs are pirates who believe in the teachings of the Cult. They decorate their mane and tail extravagantly, confetti being the most remarkable (and cheap). Horsehairs are as malicious and they are unpredictable in a fight as to be expected from cultists of the Laughing Mare. The ships they use are very diverse, with size ranging from that of longboats to battleships. A legend claims that there are unique ships within the fleets of the Horsehairs, storing in their holds sea monsters. Sailors who claimed to have fought those ships answered otherwise, calling the ships themselves the monsters. Whichever story is true, the fact cannot be changed that these Horsehairs are infamous enough around the Sea of Harmony for sea stories to be born out of it.
Manus Mane-iacs
With a spark of inspiration from the popular comic books, Power Ponies, the Third Prophet completed an incantation mimicking the superpower of one of the main antagonists of the series, Mane-iac Mayhem, which is the power to utilize the ridiculously long mane as tendrils for practical purposes. As a dedicated researcher to Anthropology, the subject she invented herself based upon vague records of the mysterious creatures called “Humans”, Lyra Heartstrings formulated the spell specifically to make the end of the tendrils splitted into exactly five more tendrils, for better grasp and following her now-mad obsession with this enigmatic race. Those of the Cult who specialize in using those mane tendrils are called Manus Mane-iacs. Although most outsiders call them Maniacs for simplicity’s sake, cultists oddly prefer the name Manus, something about plagiarizing.
Colorful Fireworks
The Cult has its own way to make their presence known to the outside world, even trivial things such as the coloration of their fireworks are no exceptions. Fireworks launched by the Cult are indeed a circus of colors by its own right, but within every color lies a hidden meaning. For example, a red, particularly crimson-hued, firework has its effects surrounding blood. This can either be in the form of an actual blood bath for no sense, or the fluids themselves are highly corrosive. The bloodbath might not be so literal, becoming instead a scatter of shrapnels which would create it. As there are many colors existing individually, so too are the fireworks in their simple form when uncombined. Fireworks with one color is simply boring, is it not? What’s the point of being called colorful then?
Smiling Porcelain Dolls
Whitegold has always been fond with the foreigners' porcelain, and so does the Cult. The Smiling Porcelain Dolls are a variation of the gruesome Smiling Dolls exclusively made in the Undercity, neither from the adults, but exclusively foals. Their appearances are generally very innocent up to the very point of disturbance. Being almost opposite to the Cult's natural, they make great surprises. If they managed to hug any unlucky ones, they won't loosen their grips. Though they are fragile, it is their main function. If they are to be broken many-how, the Cult's special brew would be released in a large area, afflicting anyone who consumes it with venom and laughter. But enough with their suicidal tactic; what they are actually used for is espionage. Life-like Porcelain Dolls are somewhat popular within the nobilities of Whitegold for some reason, so the Cult took advantage of that and make some of their own for the market. Besides, they’re beautiful in their own way too.
Book Worms
Book Worms are distant cousins to the Grinning Worms, assuming that there are familial relations in the Astral Plane which is their home. They feast on, oddly enough for the Cult as well, writings. While savage ones would likely eat everything on a page, more intelligent ones are able to discern the context and manipulate those documents to something more preferable for the Cult's cause. After they ate up a certain amount of words, they would make a cocoon around itself and then return to the Astral Plane, the realm they belong. Of what they become next after breaking off its shell, the Cult has yet managed to summon one. This sole factor encourages them to use them in a forgetful manner. Also, the Archivists of Moon and Star has gained an expertise on eradicating these creatures after fending off countless of them from the precious knowledge they value and maintain.
Anthromorphs
Countless attempts were made to establish a link to the rumored human world, but failure was always the answer; and so Lyra Heartstrings moved on to her new project. Instead of summoning from their own realm, she aimed to create them herself. Those hideous creations are to be called Anthromorphs. The transformation process can only be described with one word: cruelty. The subject would at first feel a surge of intense pain circulating throughout the body for a prolonged time. This is the process which the skeletal structure transforms. The subject's body shifts so that walking only on hind legs is much preferable and advisable.
The second phase is the growth of new body parts. A number would sprout from the subject's hooves, acting as a grapple of sort alike to that of the Minotaurs'. Control training on these new parts would take at least a year to master; The Cult is currently working on to shorten it, perhaps reduce the pain by a bit, or even get rid of the nasty side effects showing all across the body as well. If they managed to get the last bit right, then Anthromorphs would not have not have to fashion themselves with bandages all over their body any longer.
Levitationists
To use telekinesis to levitate near hundred objects is near impossible task for common Unicorns. Luckily, none exists in the Cult can be considered normal. With much training and drugs taken, these mind jugglers can levitate objects far and high, no matter the size, no matter the number. For instance, there were multiple witnesses to one levitating an entire crowd in the middle of Fillydelphia. In their preferred melee combat, they levitate a set of blades against their oppositions. With so many weapons from different directions, it is not surprising for them to be quite inventive with their dueling. Levitationists also possess ranged capabilities. Instead of the usual balls, they use explosives alike to that of the Battle Buckers albeit at a much faster rate.
Ventriloquists
Voice throwing is a well-known stage act in Equestria, but combining it with magic produces spectacular results, especially with the abysmal magics of the Cult. Unlike the infamous Sirens of Whitegold, these singers, the Ventriloquists, throw their voices, barely moving their lips. Their ability to appear silent whilst performing their show makes them ideal for the Cult's subtle operations, though their expertise is also well appreciated for the occasional uprisings and trouble-making, sowing strife through deliberate miscommunication, and so on. When combined with magic, Ventriloquists can force control to their targets’ voice, and even steal that same voice for their own uses. There are also a few Ventriloquists who are learned in the art of Voice Magic, and they literally throw their voices.
Mischiefs
Though it does depend on the cell, there are still some common patterns to the role of the young in the Cult. Mischiefs are used by the Cult as the guise of an innocent child. Indeed that no matter the age, if they associate themselves with the Cult, they are more than dangerous enough. If the Mischief wasn’t trained to kill, then it’s either spying or sabotage. Their relatively small sizes make them great espionage agents, provided that they are trained to be so. If not, then they are apprentices to the Cult’s professionals, and are likely to be found assisting their mentor in their performances and errands. Mischiefs generally lack disguise to the outside world, so they can easily be found in the form of mischievous child, but the quiet ones also prove to be as likely as well.
Hellequines
Hellequines are a variant of the common Harlequines. These rather skilled acrobats underwent various types of dark rituals under the Laughing Mare which transform them into “living grotesque” as many would put it. They are agile monstrosities each possessing their own unique powers and appearances. Some might not look like one, while others would surely convince any of those sane to see themselves as something that even nightmares wouldn’t dare create. Their former personality also changed to that of terrifying insanity, as if they are possessed. Are they acrobats in the form of monsters? Or are they monsters in the form of acrobats? Even their allies aren’t certain themselves.
Social Butterflies
There are several reasons why Unicorns are quite fitting for the role of spreading dissents and inciting revolts in the name of the Laughing Mare, one of which is that they can escape easily provided that they know their Wing spell. Social Butterflies are one of the more indistinguishable members of the Cult, spreading discord within pure societies, making way for laughter which is graciously from Her smile. They are subtle, and one or two might be your neighbor Unicorns. If for whatever circumstances, they are actually fighting, they are virtually indifferent in terms of roles when compared to the Seraphs of Moon and Star, though the usual recklessness which is typical of the Cult would rather see them dead, tearing their own wings with their unmanaged speed.
Harpies
Constructed in the same manner as the Firebirds, these giggling, smoking-hot avians, are not what many would expect them to be; the distance can make illusions. As these creatures traverse on the high spaces of the sky, one simply cannot make out their appearances in detail. But once one has examined one up close, one would see, in most cases, a Pony whose every limb but the chest and the head replaced by that of an avian. Upon hearing their rare speech, that one would then realize that these Harpies have little left of their own self; a chuckling squawk can hardly be comprehended. They are now creatures of wild nature who feast on others as if they are their prey. Though they are not as swift as the Euphories, their deadly fangs and talons more than enough compensated for it.
Literally Nightmares
The Nightmares of Moon and Star are famed for their lifetime zealous devotion to Luna. It is hard to imagine any of them to suddenly change their devotion to the Laughing Mare, though that does not mean that lot doesn’t exist. With such advanced magic bend and twisted to the nature of the Cult, they are now Literally Nightmares, harbingers of gleeful dreams and ecstatic slaughters. In their incorporeal form they traverse the Dreamscape, bringing their own perverted taste of dreams to the slumber of the world, caring not whether they’re actually sleeping, that is how capable they are with their great power and faith corrupted. In their corporeal form they are more than able of mimicking their physical appearances to those terrifying imaginations existing only in the dreams. It is indeed the ultimate test of bravery to face one’s greatest nightmares in the realm of reality, and live.
Antennae of Joy
Based on the schematics of the intricate Arcane Manipulator, this part-grotesque device invites the Laughing Mare’s influence through the power of science and sorcery. It’s one of the few contraptions made by the Cult which is more mechanical and less dark incantations. Rarely found in battle, they are usually implemented within cells and hideouts to smuggle Her influence in without the ruckus. If one is brought to the carnage however, the Antenna of Joy would transmit arcane frequencies which have various effects. For a start, they can play special musics, magical waves as Moon and Star would call it, which can stir up various emotions for those who hear it, notable examples are joy, rage, sorrow, even lust, and the list goes on depending on the mood of the operators themselves as well.
Plush Dolls
A derivative from the wicked concept which results in the Smiling Dolls, the Plush Dolls are more passive in their roles and purposes compared to their older cousins. Instead of having their limbs replaced with more mechanical ones, the body of the unlucky soul is chopped up into pieces and overhauled entirely through stitching. This results in Plush Dolls coming in various shapes and sizes, but that’s the end of the general differences. Each Plush Doll is stuffed with mashed flesh of that same fool who turned their back to the Cult mixed with magical essences which give the Plush Dolls their iconic powers which are activated through hugging them. The most common of their powers is the ability to give hope and joy in times of pain and sorrow. Plush Dolls lack any ability to fight, their composition alone already unsuitable for heavy work. They require protection and guardianship.
Laughing Legionnaires
The Laughing Legion is a collective warband of cultists, mostly and specifically Legionnaires who turned their back to the Celestial Sisters, within the cells of Moon and Star. A Laughing Legionnaire serves the Laughing Mare with their hardened professional expertise as a soldier. Some time after their formation, their ranks swelled with those whose background were not originally Legionnaires of Moon and Star. A reform was necessary, changing the Laughing Legion into a diverse paramilitary force and a force to be reckoned with.
Every Laughing Legionnaire is the same for all of them share the same skillsets for versatility, being entirely jack-of-all-trades unlike the legions of Moon and Star which require unity as a whole to work its machineries. Laughing Legionnaires hide until the call for war has to be answered, and when they answer it, the Laughing Legion fights as a whole. Their flexibility allows them to be deployed possibly down to a small group with little loss in efficiency, assuming that they are there to fight. Up until now, this flexibility of theirs has yet been put to the test in a confrontation against a well-prepared army. Their operations currently circulate around simply raiding and annihilating patrol packets.
Magicians
Trickery alone, employed by a skilled performer, can be extremely convincing to an unsuspecting mind already. Augmented by the powers of sorcery and dark magics, mere illusions of the mind now then cross the borders of reality. Magicians of the Cult of Laughter are no less experts in illusionary arcane. The question is: Are they real? Illusions created by the Magicians are indeed more advanced than those exercised by the common Unicorns, but connection with the Astral Plane changes the composition of those illusions to be mixed with the essence of the Astral Plane, becoming something similar to those creatures summoned from that otherworldly place, adding realism especially to those who have encountered those monstrosities or the like before.
Marksmares
Equipped with a heavily-modified variant of the device which is used by the elite Marksmages of Moon and Star, these sharpshooters bring smiles to their marks from afar. They are considered to be members of a suborder of those legendary Jesters of Baltimare. They are all mares, most of them. Marksmares are comfortable enough picking out their marks in the middle of a carnage as they do normally in relatively safe hiding spots which are all usually unexpected by the opposition, their allies too sometimes.
An iconic trait of the Marksmares is their penchant to mark their targets with their insignia without them noticing. The most common place they mark their targets on is somewhere within the borders of the cutie mark. There have been cases where the targets actually noticed the marks, but if it’s not seconds before their death, they would find these marks hardly erasable. The manner on how they actually plant their marks on their targets seems to vary. Most prefer permanent inks and some sly incidents, while the rest might use arcane means or conventionally subtle methods with a twist.
Cycler Gangs
Riding, or rather cycling on, the roads of Equestria amongst the countless rogues and bandits are the Cycler Gangs. These undoubtedly cultists ride on their Cycles, fast, which come in varieties defined by how many wheels it has got. The most common, and potentially one of the fastest, is the single-wheeled variant, the Unicycles. Bicycles can also be considered common sights as well, providing more stability without sacrificing speed. The axles of the wheels are fitted with blades so that they slice anything the Cycles passed through. Optional training wheels increase the range as well as stability, sacrificing only precious speed. Also, the leaders of these groups seem to have some connections with the local Cult cells around the areas they associate themselves in, which would explain how a number of their raids seem far from being random coincidences.
Bouncy Legs
Attachments for the legs allow Ponies to not only extended height, but also the ability to traverse the grounds, and possibly the air, quickly with the use of the springs inside; Bouncy Legs use devices in this manner to swiftly relocate from one place to another without fail, provided that it’s an open space of course, though there are some whose heads are hard enough to break through several ceilings. Blades attached around the end of the stilts allow Bouncy Legs to deliver death to their foes from above. While the majority prefer a pair of stilts on their hind legs, freeing their other two hooves to possibly other weaponry, the rest prefers either more or less, mostly less, oddly enough.
Skytrotters
It is almost a norm for the cultists to be able to walk on thin ropes and strings. It is a specialization for a cultist to possibly sprint on them; they would be called Skytrotters. These acrobatic performers utilize a special device to simultaneously shoot a number projectiles resembling a hook. What matters most isn’t whether the hooks themselves hit their supposed target, but how the metal wires following them align, for they are pathways for Skytrotters to reach their foes. Equipped on their back is a similar device which pulls out metal wires as they trot the skies. If those first hooks and wires don’t kill them first, then it is the duty of the last wires to finish the job. Skytrotters manipulate the empty space of the skies to their best use, populating them with those wires; kinda like spinning spider webs, but made of steel instead of spider webs. It would be a disaster to be trapped inside those random webs, to be sliced by those near-invisible threads.
Jugglers
Unlike most cultists who are capable of juggling to some extent, Jugglers are not to be folded along with the rest of that chaffe. Not only are they great shots at throwing, they also know the best items to throw, how to throw them, and where to keep them amongst other items hidden underneath the labyrinth of pockets all over their garments. In credit for such abilities, the Toymakers are most likely to consent to their needs of more eccentric things for the to throw, something rather surprising, perhaps even for the Juggler themself as well. Physically they are fast, and when coupled with how fast they throw they juggle, they should be considered awesome for being able to accurately hit most of their intended targets whilst in swift motion, let alone how far they can possibly throw.
Flying Saucers
Despite the name, Flying Saucers technically do not fly. Poles with a circular end of various lengths are used as a base for these sharp-edged, not necessarily actual saucers, to spin upon, with the said end vital for the mobility factor of these toys. To put it simply, they move, fast. Overseeing a group of Flying Saucers is a cultist trained to spin the saucers should they become slow over time, or replace a new one should any be broken due to usually expected circumstances. Flying Saucers make great area denial and control since the saucers themselves tend to be ridiculously big, and a mere dozen of them can already make sufficient of a fence. It is also far from necessary for the spinner of the Flying Saucers to actually be out in the open to manage them. They can be hiding anywhere nearby.
Silken Cloaks
Evidently named for their trademark wear and weapon of choice, Silken Cloaks are acrobatic assassins who infiltrate the surface disguising their intentions with a modest silken cloak. This humble appearance is enough for them to reach their targets and, usually, strangle them with those same cloaks before using them to climb away and escape. Sometimes, it’s the faster other way around. The silk cloaks they wear are very durable and can be used for purposes similar to that of a rope, a very smooth rope. Their most prominent tactic is to hang down from their silken rope, traversing around spinning; how they dispatch their enemies depends on their preference on weaponry. They simply have to incorporate those techniques into this manner of mobility.
Feral Charmers
There are only a notable few types of wildlife that Feral Charmers would not capture and tame for their own uses, which in most cases either there aren’t any in their immediate area or the subject is just not suitable for the methods they use to train them, or indoctrination as the Unicorns would call it. Most Feral Charmers prefer the old-school way of capturing their beasts: beating them up, which makes most Feral Charmers as dangerous as their tamed pets, perhaps more. Nature is a powerful force which cannot be simply reckoned with, especially those from the Everfree. Those Charmers who are to be considered by their peers as veterans of the field are the most likely to have scores of thralls whose origins are of that accursed biome, with possibly a few Wraiths among them too.
Fireaters
A recent addition to the Cult’s general arsenal as a counter against one of Fillydelphia’s similarly recent innovations, the Firespitters, Fireaters exist solely to intercept those burning fluids by swallowing them whole before they grasp on anything that they better not such as a Party Wagon. To carry out the act, they have to not only simply cool down their mouth, but chill them to extreme freezing temperatures through the dark magics of the Cult to withstand the burning fire fluids of the Firespitters. For those who managed to not swallow the whole thing down to their stomachs, it is likely that they are able to spit the fire back out to the enemy and not a choke. Skilled Fireaters may also haul with them a modified Firespitter tank of their own to swallow and spit fire out as well.
Skintight Balloons
Cultists would fill their balloons with a plethora of substances other than the common air from the lungs or the pump, with acid unsurprisingly tried and failed many times. Skintight Balloons are made to accommodate the fellows’ eccentricities more common as they become more insane. Indeed that pure resin alone won’t possibly withstand any corrosive substance, let alone any live critter or two in there, thus a brew of mixture consisting majorly of resins tapped from trees of the mystical Everfree to coat a collection skins freshly torn apart from many young Earth Pony foals before shaping them into something more akin to a desired product less likely to be eaten by hungry cannibals who lack self-control to distinguish tanned leather. Skintight Balloons are extremely durable. The ability to store virtually anything inside guarantees fancy applications for it, from traps to transports.
These eccentrically insane mechanics are the main assembly line of the Cult's toys and gadgets, arsenals-of-war as others would rather call them. From varieties of blades to explosives with different blasts, the Toymakers have proven themselves time and again to be more than mere innovators of surprisingly effective equipment and weaponry. Many believe that Toymakers keep their magnum opus by their own side, considering that they have already made any by the least, or perhaps a whole collection of them at their direct disposal for the worst. Most Toymakers rely on the most fundamental way of learning and creating which is called trial and error; there are luckily not many in their ranks who are creatively genius flooded with inspiration to the point of madness.
Mirth Minstrels
Cultists who travel and perform their musics along with their joyful songs all over Equestria, and perhaps beyond, they are the instruments the Cult uses to spread their seeds of delight. Group performances by them are rare due to their preference of travelling alone for safety and security as a whole. They recite merry, encouraging those unfortunate who heard them to join the Cult. Because of their exposure to the outside world, their songs have to be subtle to avoid unwanted attentions such as the authorities. One can pick apart from the crowd a Mirth Minstrels, not from their nigh flawless cover, but the vile intents shown in the contents of their performances.
The recent Macabre Music Machine, the invention of the Third Prophet, took away most of their major roles on the field, and importance especially. Though many of the Minstrels resent this contraption for their lost in dignity which was once akin to that of the Jesters of Baltimare, who are they to speak against their revered founder and leader, Lyra Heartstrings, the Third Prophet who invented the machine herself? One the other hand, because of how advanced of a contraption a Macabre Music Machine proves to be to the Toymakers, Mirth Minstrels still remain as one of the Cult’s primary means of spreading laughter and joy through their charm and musical talents.
Corpse Collectors
Although much less elaborate than the mervelous Party Wagons, the lack of decorations can be justified by its practicality being for utility in nature: collecting corpses lying lifeless (or unluckily still alive) on the field of carnage. At its most basic level, the Corpse Collector simply grabs and stores the corpses they collect. Necromancers turn those same corpses into their Laughing Deads if they do so wish. If equipped with a grinder, the Corpse Collector would crush the collected corpses into small chunks. Whatever happens to those material, it is one of those conversation topics one should rather not describe to the innocent as their introduction to the twisted nature of the world.
Horsehairs
Horsehairs are pirates who believe in the teachings of the Cult. They decorate their mane and tail extravagantly, confetti being the most remarkable (and cheap). Horsehairs are as malicious and they are unpredictable in a fight as to be expected from cultists of the Laughing Mare. The ships they use are very diverse, with size ranging from that of longboats to battleships. A legend claims that there are unique ships within the fleets of the Horsehairs, storing in their holds sea monsters. Sailors who claimed to have fought those ships answered otherwise, calling the ships themselves the monsters. Whichever story is true, the fact cannot be changed that these Horsehairs are infamous enough around the Sea of Harmony for sea stories to be born out of it.
Manus Mane-iacs
With a spark of inspiration from the popular comic books, Power Ponies, the Third Prophet completed an incantation mimicking the superpower of one of the main antagonists of the series, Mane-iac Mayhem, which is the power to utilize the ridiculously long mane as tendrils for practical purposes. As a dedicated researcher to Anthropology, the subject she invented herself based upon vague records of the mysterious creatures called “Humans”, Lyra Heartstrings formulated the spell specifically to make the end of the tendrils splitted into exactly five more tendrils, for better grasp and following her now-mad obsession with this enigmatic race. Those of the Cult who specialize in using those mane tendrils are called Manus Mane-iacs. Although most outsiders call them Maniacs for simplicity’s sake, cultists oddly prefer the name Manus, something about plagiarizing.
Colorful Fireworks
The Cult has its own way to make their presence known to the outside world, even trivial things such as the coloration of their fireworks are no exceptions. Fireworks launched by the Cult are indeed a circus of colors by its own right, but within every color lies a hidden meaning. For example, a red, particularly crimson-hued, firework has its effects surrounding blood. This can either be in the form of an actual blood bath for no sense, or the fluids themselves are highly corrosive. The bloodbath might not be so literal, becoming instead a scatter of shrapnels which would create it. As there are many colors existing individually, so too are the fireworks in their simple form when uncombined. Fireworks with one color is simply boring, is it not? What’s the point of being called colorful then?
Smiling Porcelain Dolls
Whitegold has always been fond with the foreigners' porcelain, and so does the Cult. The Smiling Porcelain Dolls are a variation of the gruesome Smiling Dolls exclusively made in the Undercity, neither from the adults, but exclusively foals. Their appearances are generally very innocent up to the very point of disturbance. Being almost opposite to the Cult's natural, they make great surprises. If they managed to hug any unlucky ones, they won't loosen their grips. Though they are fragile, it is their main function. If they are to be broken many-how, the Cult's special brew would be released in a large area, afflicting anyone who consumes it with venom and laughter. But enough with their suicidal tactic; what they are actually used for is espionage. Life-like Porcelain Dolls are somewhat popular within the nobilities of Whitegold for some reason, so the Cult took advantage of that and make some of their own for the market. Besides, they’re beautiful in their own way too.
Book Worms
Book Worms are distant cousins to the Grinning Worms, assuming that there are familial relations in the Astral Plane which is their home. They feast on, oddly enough for the Cult as well, writings. While savage ones would likely eat everything on a page, more intelligent ones are able to discern the context and manipulate those documents to something more preferable for the Cult's cause. After they ate up a certain amount of words, they would make a cocoon around itself and then return to the Astral Plane, the realm they belong. Of what they become next after breaking off its shell, the Cult has yet managed to summon one. This sole factor encourages them to use them in a forgetful manner. Also, the Archivists of Moon and Star has gained an expertise on eradicating these creatures after fending off countless of them from the precious knowledge they value and maintain.
Anthromorphs
Countless attempts were made to establish a link to the rumored human world, but failure was always the answer; and so Lyra Heartstrings moved on to her new project. Instead of summoning from their own realm, she aimed to create them herself. Those hideous creations are to be called Anthromorphs. The transformation process can only be described with one word: cruelty. The subject would at first feel a surge of intense pain circulating throughout the body for a prolonged time. This is the process which the skeletal structure transforms. The subject's body shifts so that walking only on hind legs is much preferable and advisable.
The second phase is the growth of new body parts. A number would sprout from the subject's hooves, acting as a grapple of sort alike to that of the Minotaurs'. Control training on these new parts would take at least a year to master; The Cult is currently working on to shorten it, perhaps reduce the pain by a bit, or even get rid of the nasty side effects showing all across the body as well. If they managed to get the last bit right, then Anthromorphs would not have not have to fashion themselves with bandages all over their body any longer.
Levitationists
To use telekinesis to levitate near hundred objects is near impossible task for common Unicorns. Luckily, none exists in the Cult can be considered normal. With much training and drugs taken, these mind jugglers can levitate objects far and high, no matter the size, no matter the number. For instance, there were multiple witnesses to one levitating an entire crowd in the middle of Fillydelphia. In their preferred melee combat, they levitate a set of blades against their oppositions. With so many weapons from different directions, it is not surprising for them to be quite inventive with their dueling. Levitationists also possess ranged capabilities. Instead of the usual balls, they use explosives alike to that of the Battle Buckers albeit at a much faster rate.
Ventriloquists
Voice throwing is a well-known stage act in Equestria, but combining it with magic produces spectacular results, especially with the abysmal magics of the Cult. Unlike the infamous Sirens of Whitegold, these singers, the Ventriloquists, throw their voices, barely moving their lips. Their ability to appear silent whilst performing their show makes them ideal for the Cult's subtle operations, though their expertise is also well appreciated for the occasional uprisings and trouble-making, sowing strife through deliberate miscommunication, and so on. When combined with magic, Ventriloquists can force control to their targets’ voice, and even steal that same voice for their own uses. There are also a few Ventriloquists who are learned in the art of Voice Magic, and they literally throw their voices.
Mischiefs
Though it does depend on the cell, there are still some common patterns to the role of the young in the Cult. Mischiefs are used by the Cult as the guise of an innocent child. Indeed that no matter the age, if they associate themselves with the Cult, they are more than dangerous enough. If the Mischief wasn’t trained to kill, then it’s either spying or sabotage. Their relatively small sizes make them great espionage agents, provided that they are trained to be so. If not, then they are apprentices to the Cult’s professionals, and are likely to be found assisting their mentor in their performances and errands. Mischiefs generally lack disguise to the outside world, so they can easily be found in the form of mischievous child, but the quiet ones also prove to be as likely as well.
Hellequines
Hellequines are a variant of the common Harlequines. These rather skilled acrobats underwent various types of dark rituals under the Laughing Mare which transform them into “living grotesque” as many would put it. They are agile monstrosities each possessing their own unique powers and appearances. Some might not look like one, while others would surely convince any of those sane to see themselves as something that even nightmares wouldn’t dare create. Their former personality also changed to that of terrifying insanity, as if they are possessed. Are they acrobats in the form of monsters? Or are they monsters in the form of acrobats? Even their allies aren’t certain themselves.
Social Butterflies
There are several reasons why Unicorns are quite fitting for the role of spreading dissents and inciting revolts in the name of the Laughing Mare, one of which is that they can escape easily provided that they know their Wing spell. Social Butterflies are one of the more indistinguishable members of the Cult, spreading discord within pure societies, making way for laughter which is graciously from Her smile. They are subtle, and one or two might be your neighbor Unicorns. If for whatever circumstances, they are actually fighting, they are virtually indifferent in terms of roles when compared to the Seraphs of Moon and Star, though the usual recklessness which is typical of the Cult would rather see them dead, tearing their own wings with their unmanaged speed.
Harpies
Constructed in the same manner as the Firebirds, these giggling, smoking-hot avians, are not what many would expect them to be; the distance can make illusions. As these creatures traverse on the high spaces of the sky, one simply cannot make out their appearances in detail. But once one has examined one up close, one would see, in most cases, a Pony whose every limb but the chest and the head replaced by that of an avian. Upon hearing their rare speech, that one would then realize that these Harpies have little left of their own self; a chuckling squawk can hardly be comprehended. They are now creatures of wild nature who feast on others as if they are their prey. Though they are not as swift as the Euphories, their deadly fangs and talons more than enough compensated for it.
Literally Nightmares
The Nightmares of Moon and Star are famed for their lifetime zealous devotion to Luna. It is hard to imagine any of them to suddenly change their devotion to the Laughing Mare, though that does not mean that lot doesn’t exist. With such advanced magic bend and twisted to the nature of the Cult, they are now Literally Nightmares, harbingers of gleeful dreams and ecstatic slaughters. In their incorporeal form they traverse the Dreamscape, bringing their own perverted taste of dreams to the slumber of the world, caring not whether they’re actually sleeping, that is how capable they are with their great power and faith corrupted. In their corporeal form they are more than able of mimicking their physical appearances to those terrifying imaginations existing only in the dreams. It is indeed the ultimate test of bravery to face one’s greatest nightmares in the realm of reality, and live.
Antennae of Joy
Based on the schematics of the intricate Arcane Manipulator, this part-grotesque device invites the Laughing Mare’s influence through the power of science and sorcery. It’s one of the few contraptions made by the Cult which is more mechanical and less dark incantations. Rarely found in battle, they are usually implemented within cells and hideouts to smuggle Her influence in without the ruckus. If one is brought to the carnage however, the Antenna of Joy would transmit arcane frequencies which have various effects. For a start, they can play special musics, magical waves as Moon and Star would call it, which can stir up various emotions for those who hear it, notable examples are joy, rage, sorrow, even lust, and the list goes on depending on the mood of the operators themselves as well.
Plush Dolls
A derivative from the wicked concept which results in the Smiling Dolls, the Plush Dolls are more passive in their roles and purposes compared to their older cousins. Instead of having their limbs replaced with more mechanical ones, the body of the unlucky soul is chopped up into pieces and overhauled entirely through stitching. This results in Plush Dolls coming in various shapes and sizes, but that’s the end of the general differences. Each Plush Doll is stuffed with mashed flesh of that same fool who turned their back to the Cult mixed with magical essences which give the Plush Dolls their iconic powers which are activated through hugging them. The most common of their powers is the ability to give hope and joy in times of pain and sorrow. Plush Dolls lack any ability to fight, their composition alone already unsuitable for heavy work. They require protection and guardianship.
Laughing Legionnaires
The Laughing Legion is a collective warband of cultists, mostly and specifically Legionnaires who turned their back to the Celestial Sisters, within the cells of Moon and Star. A Laughing Legionnaire serves the Laughing Mare with their hardened professional expertise as a soldier. Some time after their formation, their ranks swelled with those whose background were not originally Legionnaires of Moon and Star. A reform was necessary, changing the Laughing Legion into a diverse paramilitary force and a force to be reckoned with.
Every Laughing Legionnaire is the same for all of them share the same skillsets for versatility, being entirely jack-of-all-trades unlike the legions of Moon and Star which require unity as a whole to work its machineries. Laughing Legionnaires hide until the call for war has to be answered, and when they answer it, the Laughing Legion fights as a whole. Their flexibility allows them to be deployed possibly down to a small group with little loss in efficiency, assuming that they are there to fight. Up until now, this flexibility of theirs has yet been put to the test in a confrontation against a well-prepared army. Their operations currently circulate around simply raiding and annihilating patrol packets.
Magicians
Trickery alone, employed by a skilled performer, can be extremely convincing to an unsuspecting mind already. Augmented by the powers of sorcery and dark magics, mere illusions of the mind now then cross the borders of reality. Magicians of the Cult of Laughter are no less experts in illusionary arcane. The question is: Are they real? Illusions created by the Magicians are indeed more advanced than those exercised by the common Unicorns, but connection with the Astral Plane changes the composition of those illusions to be mixed with the essence of the Astral Plane, becoming something similar to those creatures summoned from that otherworldly place, adding realism especially to those who have encountered those monstrosities or the like before.
Marksmares
Equipped with a heavily-modified variant of the device which is used by the elite Marksmages of Moon and Star, these sharpshooters bring smiles to their marks from afar. They are considered to be members of a suborder of those legendary Jesters of Baltimare. They are all mares, most of them. Marksmares are comfortable enough picking out their marks in the middle of a carnage as they do normally in relatively safe hiding spots which are all usually unexpected by the opposition, their allies too sometimes.
An iconic trait of the Marksmares is their penchant to mark their targets with their insignia without them noticing. The most common place they mark their targets on is somewhere within the borders of the cutie mark. There have been cases where the targets actually noticed the marks, but if it’s not seconds before their death, they would find these marks hardly erasable. The manner on how they actually plant their marks on their targets seems to vary. Most prefer permanent inks and some sly incidents, while the rest might use arcane means or conventionally subtle methods with a twist.
Cycler Gangs
Riding, or rather cycling on, the roads of Equestria amongst the countless rogues and bandits are the Cycler Gangs. These undoubtedly cultists ride on their Cycles, fast, which come in varieties defined by how many wheels it has got. The most common, and potentially one of the fastest, is the single-wheeled variant, the Unicycles. Bicycles can also be considered common sights as well, providing more stability without sacrificing speed. The axles of the wheels are fitted with blades so that they slice anything the Cycles passed through. Optional training wheels increase the range as well as stability, sacrificing only precious speed. Also, the leaders of these groups seem to have some connections with the local Cult cells around the areas they associate themselves in, which would explain how a number of their raids seem far from being random coincidences.
Bouncy Legs
Attachments for the legs allow Ponies to not only extended height, but also the ability to traverse the grounds, and possibly the air, quickly with the use of the springs inside; Bouncy Legs use devices in this manner to swiftly relocate from one place to another without fail, provided that it’s an open space of course, though there are some whose heads are hard enough to break through several ceilings. Blades attached around the end of the stilts allow Bouncy Legs to deliver death to their foes from above. While the majority prefer a pair of stilts on their hind legs, freeing their other two hooves to possibly other weaponry, the rest prefers either more or less, mostly less, oddly enough.
Skytrotters
It is almost a norm for the cultists to be able to walk on thin ropes and strings. It is a specialization for a cultist to possibly sprint on them; they would be called Skytrotters. These acrobatic performers utilize a special device to simultaneously shoot a number projectiles resembling a hook. What matters most isn’t whether the hooks themselves hit their supposed target, but how the metal wires following them align, for they are pathways for Skytrotters to reach their foes. Equipped on their back is a similar device which pulls out metal wires as they trot the skies. If those first hooks and wires don’t kill them first, then it is the duty of the last wires to finish the job. Skytrotters manipulate the empty space of the skies to their best use, populating them with those wires; kinda like spinning spider webs, but made of steel instead of spider webs. It would be a disaster to be trapped inside those random webs, to be sliced by those near-invisible threads.
Jugglers
Unlike most cultists who are capable of juggling to some extent, Jugglers are not to be folded along with the rest of that chaffe. Not only are they great shots at throwing, they also know the best items to throw, how to throw them, and where to keep them amongst other items hidden underneath the labyrinth of pockets all over their garments. In credit for such abilities, the Toymakers are most likely to consent to their needs of more eccentric things for the to throw, something rather surprising, perhaps even for the Juggler themself as well. Physically they are fast, and when coupled with how fast they throw they juggle, they should be considered awesome for being able to accurately hit most of their intended targets whilst in swift motion, let alone how far they can possibly throw.
Flying Saucers
Despite the name, Flying Saucers technically do not fly. Poles with a circular end of various lengths are used as a base for these sharp-edged, not necessarily actual saucers, to spin upon, with the said end vital for the mobility factor of these toys. To put it simply, they move, fast. Overseeing a group of Flying Saucers is a cultist trained to spin the saucers should they become slow over time, or replace a new one should any be broken due to usually expected circumstances. Flying Saucers make great area denial and control since the saucers themselves tend to be ridiculously big, and a mere dozen of them can already make sufficient of a fence. It is also far from necessary for the spinner of the Flying Saucers to actually be out in the open to manage them. They can be hiding anywhere nearby.
Silken Cloaks
Evidently named for their trademark wear and weapon of choice, Silken Cloaks are acrobatic assassins who infiltrate the surface disguising their intentions with a modest silken cloak. This humble appearance is enough for them to reach their targets and, usually, strangle them with those same cloaks before using them to climb away and escape. Sometimes, it’s the faster other way around. The silk cloaks they wear are very durable and can be used for purposes similar to that of a rope, a very smooth rope. Their most prominent tactic is to hang down from their silken rope, traversing around spinning; how they dispatch their enemies depends on their preference on weaponry. They simply have to incorporate those techniques into this manner of mobility.
Feral Charmers
There are only a notable few types of wildlife that Feral Charmers would not capture and tame for their own uses, which in most cases either there aren’t any in their immediate area or the subject is just not suitable for the methods they use to train them, or indoctrination as the Unicorns would call it. Most Feral Charmers prefer the old-school way of capturing their beasts: beating them up, which makes most Feral Charmers as dangerous as their tamed pets, perhaps more. Nature is a powerful force which cannot be simply reckoned with, especially those from the Everfree. Those Charmers who are to be considered by their peers as veterans of the field are the most likely to have scores of thralls whose origins are of that accursed biome, with possibly a few Wraiths among them too.
Fireaters
A recent addition to the Cult’s general arsenal as a counter against one of Fillydelphia’s similarly recent innovations, the Firespitters, Fireaters exist solely to intercept those burning fluids by swallowing them whole before they grasp on anything that they better not such as a Party Wagon. To carry out the act, they have to not only simply cool down their mouth, but chill them to extreme freezing temperatures through the dark magics of the Cult to withstand the burning fire fluids of the Firespitters. For those who managed to not swallow the whole thing down to their stomachs, it is likely that they are able to spit the fire back out to the enemy and not a choke. Skilled Fireaters may also haul with them a modified Firespitter tank of their own to swallow and spit fire out as well.
Skintight Balloons
Cultists would fill their balloons with a plethora of substances other than the common air from the lungs or the pump, with acid unsurprisingly tried and failed many times. Skintight Balloons are made to accommodate the fellows’ eccentricities more common as they become more insane. Indeed that pure resin alone won’t possibly withstand any corrosive substance, let alone any live critter or two in there, thus a brew of mixture consisting majorly of resins tapped from trees of the mystical Everfree to coat a collection skins freshly torn apart from many young Earth Pony foals before shaping them into something more akin to a desired product less likely to be eaten by hungry cannibals who lack self-control to distinguish tanned leather. Skintight Balloons are extremely durable. The ability to store virtually anything inside guarantees fancy applications for it, from traps to transports.
Units of the Cult of Laughter I came up with over time. Refined the descriptions here and there before it turned out like this. 
© 2016 - 2024 0Alfa
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The cult of laughter is my favorite by far, kinda hard not to like the units of a necromantic eldritch cult that worships a twisted undead pinkie pie